Collaborative Divorce Aims To Minimize Bitterness

LOUISVILLE -- Divorce is a process that is hard on everyone, especially children.

And here are some of the hard facts:

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Experts Try To Help Couples Part Amicably

About 40 percent of all marriages will end in divorce.

Each year, more than 1 million children are affected by the breakup of their parents' marriage.

Approximately one-third of divorced parents remain bitter and hostile several years after they split up.

Divorce is costly both emotionally and financially, WLKY NewsChannel 32's Paul Moses reported Wednesday. And divorce attorney Billy Hoge said he thinks something needs to change soon. Never one to shy from away from a court fight, he's seen first-hand the damage the typical divorce can cause.

"Litigation's tough," Hoge said. "It's hard on people. It's very expensive. It's very entrenching. It makes people take positions and sometimes those positions are not in their best interest. I call collaborative law, very simply, enlightened self-interest."

Many have heard the horror stories, and others have lived them. The marrige ends, and despite their intentions at the beginning of the process, the two sides get locked in a battle over personal items, money and worse yet -- children.

"Inevitably, in those kinds of situations, children intentionally or unintentionally become weapons that one parent uses over the other," divorce attorney Russ Zaino said. "Collaborative divorce removes that process and allows the parties to work this out with the minimum of emotional damage, and maximizes the opportunity for a fair settlement for both sides."

Sound too good to be true? Experts on the relatively new approach said that it's not.

"The underlying foundation is that the parties enter into an agreement at the outset of the case that they will not go to court," divorce attorney and therapist Nora Bushfield said. "If they do, then the attorneys have to withdraw, and the parties have to find litigation attorneys to continue with the representation."

The parties also agree to disclose all money matters, and work together -- collaborate -- to reach a compromise. The attorneys call on divorce "coaches," financial consultants and mental health professionals to teach problem-solving and other skills and help resolve conflicts when they do arise, Moses reported.

"This process actually gives them the privacy and confidentiality to work on their difficulties outside the purview of the court," Bushfield said. "It is in a facilitative way, so they can be calm. They have the coaches to help them deal with some emmotional issues and keep focused on the work that has to be done."

Keeping the cases out of court does more than just relieve the parties involved, Hoge said.

"There were 17,500 new cases in Jefferson County last year," he said. "Then there is 18 years of potential cases for children, for enforcement, for changes in circumstances, and that process is being addressed by 10 wonderful judges. Do the math. It is an impossibility for this process to function on a highly adversarial basis."

Collaborative divorce is an approach that's helping make the best out of bad situations, and giving hope to attorneys and others involved that less damage will be done to the most innocent of victims, Moses reported.